I am realizing that all of my problems this past 9 or 10 months have been caused by one of my medicines. I am so excited to have figured it out. I wish it wouldn't have taken me this long but I am so grateful to feel like me again.
About 9 or 10 months ago I lost my ambition to lose weight and pretty much any ambition at all. I thought it was just part of the Fibromyalgia until it was getting to the point of being unbearable. I was always tired and I lost all of my ambition for everything. I didn't get excited about vacations, Birthday parties, or pretty much anything.
If you know me personally you know that this just isn't me. I am the person that is excited about everything. I love to get out and do things and even more I love thinking about what I will do in the future. I love being ambitious and doing my best at everything I do. I also love to do new things. So for me to not care anymore just wasn't normal.
At first I thought I was depressed. I wrote about this several months ago. It was a short time after I was featured in Woman's World Magazine. I was in the magazine, on the news and on the front page of my local paper. It was huge yet I seemed to have a hard time enjoying it.
Back then my husband and both daughters were sick with pneumonia and I was exhausted from caring for them. I thought that was why I couldn't be as excited as I wanted to be. Then it got worse. I stopped going to bootcamp at Fuel Fitness. I loved bootcamp and it was so nice of Marc Nespoli to let me go for free. It really was awesome but then one day I lost all motivation to go. It seems stupid now but back then I just couldn't do it. I also turned down interviews with radio stations because I just didn't care anymore. Again, this is just not me.
After going to a psychologist a few months ago I was told that I didn't need depression medicine. She said I was just stressed and needed some "me time". Of course that is easier said then done.
The past few weeks it has been getting nice outside and I really wanted to feel good. I wanted my motivation back. I wanted to have dreams again. I wanted to look forward to the future. I didn't want everything to seem so "blah".
I have really been trying to figure out what went wrong. Two weeks ago I was thinking about time frames and when I actually started feeling this way. Then I realized that it was about the time that my Doctor doubled my medicine. So of course I immediately decided to cut back on it. I considered going off of it completely but last time I did that I couldn't sleep at night.
Last Monday I stopped taking my morning pill and only continued to take my nightly one. By Wednesday I was started to feel the difference. I was more awake, happier yet still had some withdrawal side effects. Today I can officially say that I am me again! I wake up around 6 am happy and awake. I don't feel tired and groggy all day and my motivation for my entire life is back. I am able to focus on eating healthy again, planning my future and just enjoy life.
It feels amazing to have finally solved the problem. I am finally me again and ready to get my life back on track. The past 5 days I have exercised every single day and enjoyed it. It just feels so good to not feel tired and miserable all the time. It feels so good to dream about my future again, to actually care. You don't realize how great you feel until all of that is taken away from you.
I am just so grateful that God showed me what the problem was. I am so happy to just be me again!