Anyway, I finally came to the point I needed to. Admitting that I messed up and I really do look as bad as I feel. I don't like the way I look in the picture from the party because I can see in my eyes that I lost my confidence and I remember that I didn't feel pretty that night.
I am finally admitting that I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I said in the past that I felt so good that I would never go back and that is exactly what I did. I gained some of the weight back. Not just some of my weight but almost half of the weight I lost I have found again. I know this sounds crazy but I feel inside as if I gained it all back. The way I feel now is the way I felt when I weighed 216.6 pounds. I felt like a failure then and I do again now.
I want to get rid of this awful feeling. I want to feel good about myself again and I am ready and willing to do what it takes to make my body healthy again.
I have really been able to stick to my Weight Watchers Points this week. I am still doing Weight Watchers online and I am loving it. I weighed myself earlier this week. I think it was Monday or Tuesday and I weighed 191.8. Yes, that did scare me. Seeing the 190's on the scale again really was an eye opener. This morning I weighed myself and I weighed 188.8. That is a 3 pound loss. More then I have lost in a very long time. I am completely thrilled. It was a perfect Birthday present to myself. Yes, I am an April Fool's baby and I turned 31 years old today. Wow, I feel old. I think once I get some of this extra weight off I will feel much younger.
Here are some pictures of what I have been eating the last few days. I hadn't meant to post them all at once but I didn't have a chance to do it sooner.
I have to tell you that this 3 pound loss has me psyched! I haven't been this excited in a long time. It has gotten me motivated to continue. It has helped me realize that I really can do this again.
Let the new journey begin!!!