Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And The Number Is ...

Well this post just might be harder to write then my first post almost two years ago. As many of you know I haven't posted in a few weeks. I have missed writing on here very much but mostly I missed all of your kind words and support. :) Thank you to everyone who has written me emails, sent me facebook messages and also left me comments on my blog while I was away. Your encouragement means more to me then you will ever know.

Today marks a new day in my weight loss journey. The day I admit to all of you that I have fallen off track big time and gained more weight then I ever thought I would let myself do.

I have been really struggling with my weight, my eating habits and life in general since this past September. I think part of my problem may be caused by the big changes in my life since then. The added stress, extra responsibility and lack of sleep have really not been working for me. I stopped writing the past few weeks because I knew that I needed to get my life reorganized before I could get my weight loss back on track.

As of today I am working about 30 hours a week as our local YMCA's Sports Coordinator. God has really blessed me with a job where I can make some much needed money and still be a stay at home Mom. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect job. Isn't it funny how I would have never imagined myself in a million years doing this job yet now that I am doing it I absolutely love it and could not have picked a more perfect job myself. Isn't it funny how what we want is sometimes so much different then what God wants. If only we would realize that God's will is perfect and we just need to wait for His perfect timing. God has a plan for me in this job and I see it every day. I love that I am able to show God's love to everyone that I come in contact with in my new job. This job has truly been a blessing.

I decided this morning that I was going to do it! I weighed myself for the first time in a long time and decided to share it with you. Not just for my own accountability but also that all of you can see how real I am. I am just as human as the rest of you. I have my ups and downs and this is just another one that I have to deal with. Life threw me for a loop and I had to catch up with it before I could get everything back on track.

When I stepped on the scale this morning I weighed 181.2 pounds. This means I gained 15.2 pounds since Aug. 2010. Today I weight almost as much as I did a year ago. Wow, it's crazy how time flies. This number is very upsetting to me because I know how hard I worked to get to my lowest weight and now I have to do it all over again. I am realizing that this is just another stepping stone in my journey. No one wants to gain weight back but I am pretty sure most of us have done it at one point or another.

I am real and this is my life and this is why I am sharing it with you. It is slightly embarrassing but if I can help just one person by sharing the truth then it is worth it.

I am ready to get my eating habits and exercise habits back on track. I don't like the way I look or feel and I am now ready to put out the effort it is going to take me to get back to where I want to be. I know that once I start eating healthier and exercising again I will feel better inside and out.

So who is with me???

Let's take back control of what we are putting in our mouths and what we are doing with our bodies. The only real secret to losing weight is to eat healthier and exercise more. Let the games begin!!!!!!!


17 comments:

BabiesandBargains said...

I think A LOT of us do this..I did over the summer. I also did a little more then I wanted to this past weekend. I am back on track with you. Trying to get used to the new weight watchers system.

Mae Flowers said...

Do not be embarassed. This is something that we all will struggle with our entire lives. Every experience is an opportunity to learn something from it. You'll be stronger because of it. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you. I lost 15 pounds and gained all but 3 back!!

Lanie Painie said...

Welcome back! It's easy to become complacent and let things slide. Now quit all that nonsense and do it!


:-)

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I'm with you. I'm back on track today. I start the 30 day Shred again. I figure it would be good for December when it is easy to get off track.

Jill said...

I like it that you are being real and are back - I checked almost everyday to see if you were back - so glad that you are. I watched the Biggest Loser - Where are they now episode on their website last night and they showed the one man that had lost all the weight and then gained it all back - everyone who has lost weight has struggled with this. I'm in - back on track :) Congrats on the job - sounds perfect for you.

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

I'm with you too! I am exactly where I was a year ago. ugh.

Good luck!

Kelly said...

Proud of you for coming back and not giving up! I think this is somethign we will forever battle. In a way its totally depressing but in another way (the way I hope to look at it) is that it gives you a new chance every day to try again. You did it before, with God's grace, and with that same grace, you'll do it again!

Carla said...

Good to see you back Jessica. Don't be embarrased about backsliding. Anyone who has ever had to work at weight loss knows about getting off track. I felt like I was doing so great last year. I lost 30 pounds! But in the last year I have put 10 back on and have been fighting with it since summer! I keep saying that I'm going to do better, and I do, for a couple weeks, and then I'm sliding backwards again.

It's time to get back in the game. I'll be keeping an eye out for you! :o)

Genelle said...

I'm totally there with you! I managed to lose 65 lbs. a few years ago. Then I got pregnant, went on bed rest, got lost in being a mommy and have put it ALL back on. ALL of it! I'm so disappointed with myself, but I'm about to start my program to lose it all again. This time for good!

So glad you are back! I missed reading your updates.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you!

Beth said...

I agree with everyone else. No need to be embarrassed. You are human as are all of us. If losing weight and keeping it off was easy there wouldn't be nearly so many fat people around. Ha ha.

But seriously. I've been majorly stuck the past six months or so. The Geneen Roth books really spoke to me and I realized that's the path I need to take but my follow through sucks. I know I need to make some major mental and emotional changes but the thought of doing that work right now is overwhelming. Where on earth would I find time each day to read, journal, and do the work I need to do? And of course, this is an excuse. I'm obviously not ready right now. That's okay, I guess. I'll get there some day.

I suspect we're in similar situations. Please keep sharing yourself on this blog!

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you back! I am on my 3rd go round losing weight. I am hoping to make it stick this time. Keep at it. You really are an inspiration to me!
Carrie

Phyllis said...

Jessica,
Don't be embarrassed! I recently lost over 20 lbs. but feel it gradually returning. Check into some of the medications you are taking. I know that is my downfall. Just remember there are lots of people supporting you!
Love,
Aunt Phyllis

bellesca said...

I have been watching your blog everyday. I am so gland you are back!!! I to have been riding the roller coaster backwards but I have finally decided that it's time for me! Let's roll into 2010 going the right way!!

Susan said...

Yep! I'm there with you too. I turn the big 4-0 this month and I want to be fabulous at 40. ;) So let's get moving and grooving with some healthy food. (((hugs)))

Susan

Superjaxster said...

I'm with you! Let's do this!
What I find most frustrating for me is the fact that I KNOW what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong, but still can't get myself to do the right thing the majority of the time. I guess its easy to say "eat less crap and more wholesome foods" but when it comes to choosing between ordering pizza and making baked chicken (again) I usually go for the pizza! Having been successful we both know we can do this - just need to act on it and stay motivated. GO GO GO!

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