Yesterday I met with a Psychiatrist. It was my first time so I was a little nervous. I was very pleased that I didn't even have to sit in the waiting room and wait. They were ready for me when I arrived. That never happens so it was a very pleasant surprise. :)
My Psychiatrist was so nice. She asked me what felt like a thousand questions and was very sweet while she listened to all of my answers. It was a very interesting appointment. It was funny that by her asking me all of these questions I pretty much came up with the same conclusion as she did.
She does not think that I need to be treated with medicine. She thinks that a lot of what I am feeling is coming from the fact that I am a perfectionist. I see everything as either perfect or a failure. Honestly I knew that I think like this but I really never thought that there was anything wrong with it. She explained to me that there is an in between and it is okay to be in between. I guess I never really thought of it this way. She thinks I am driving myself crazy by trying to always do everything perfect and when don't do it perfect I feel like a failure and this is where stress and depression come into play.
It all completely makes sense to me now. This isn't my only issue but I think it is where all of my others issues stem from. Another big problem that I have is taking to much on. I try to do it all and I kill myself trying. The Psychiatrist told me that it is okay to ask for help. Honestly, this is something that I am not fond of. It seems like most times I ask for help I am either made to feel guilty or let down. Two things that my mind just can not handle. There is nothing worse then being made to feel guilty or be let down by the people you love. I feel like most of the time it is just easier to do things by myself.
I'm sure I could go on and on with all of my problems but I'm sure you get the idea. I try to do to much, always try to make it perfect and don't like to ask for help. I guess this would drive anyone a little crazy. :)
My Psychiatrist doesn't think that I need to see her. She is pretty much there to prescribe medicine. She thinks it would be a good idea to see a therapist. Someone that can help me work out these little things that are making me feel miserable. She also thinks a therapist can help me with my stress eating (binging). Now that would be awesome!!!
I wanted to let all of you know that I appreciate all of your prayers and concern. You are all such wonderful people and I really appreciate that you are always here for me. Thanks for being the best readers a girl could have. :)