Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I Couldn't Sleep So I Binged!



This is what I woke up to this morning. A big pile of wrappers from Hershey Kisses with Almonds. If you read my post last night you already know that I was having a binge night but I thought I had gotten past it when I ate a double fiber English muffin with peanut butter and then some Jillian Micheals 30 Day Shred and a shower. I had planned to paint my nails but I had to get the girls to bed and pack a lunch and dinner for my husband for today.
So I was feeling better when I went to bed. I took my Tylenol PM that I take every night to help me sleep and I went to bed around 11pm. I laid in bed until 12:59am and thought about food. How sad is this. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about food. Seriously, who does this? It is kind of sick to think that I laid in bed for two hours fighting the urge to get up and eat. What is wrong with me? For about the last half hour I was thinking about the Hershey kisses with almonds that I had put in my husbands work bag on Sunday so that I didn't eat them. I was really hoping he left them in the bag instead of taking them out and leaving them at work.
Finally at 12:59am I looked at the clock. I decided that it was ridiculous for me to lay in bed any longer and not sleep. So I told myself that I will go down stairs an eat two pancakes with sugar free syrup and then go to bed. I went down stairs and ate 3 pancakes with sugar free syrup and then decided that I already ate to much so why not eat the Hershey kisses. So I dug through every pocket of my husbands work bag until I found them and this is what led to the picture above. Not a good night. Although, as soon as I ate the chocolate I went to bed and slept the rest of the night. It's crazy! I swear sometimes it feels like I sabotage myself. I did so good all week just to ruin it with one bad night. I hate it!


11 comments:

Debbie said...

This is my first visit to your blog. I am so sorry you had such a tough night. Tell your husband not to have those things in the house! And good luck. Looks like you have been doing great.

Gigi said...

Maybe you binged because you deprived yourself of it earlier when maybe just a little taste would've kept the heebie-geebies away. Not that I'm an expert (I wouldn't be this size if I were) but sometimes I let myself eat the chocolate the first time I hear it calling my name instead of getting married to it later in the day. Anyway, you're past it and on to better things. Hang in there.

Sherre said...

Hmmm -- wonder if Gigi is onto something. This is the ONE thing that isn't an issue for me. If I can get to bed (sleeping or not), my hunger dissipates (when losing weight, I often just have to go to bed to avoid food). But I know many many people like you who have to get up and eat to try to satisfy that hunger.

KK @ Running Through Life said...

Darn, darn, darn! I am sorry you had a hard night! Perhaps you can keep a couple of the kisses in the freezer and eat one or two when you have a craving? Good luck!

Lucrecia said...

I think our minds can be our own worst enemies on this journey! I think the fact that you aren't trying to justify all the reasons it was ok for you to eat like you did yesterday is a HUGE step!!

I'm with Sherre, once I'm in bed I'm golden. I think its because I'm too danged lazy to get up though :-(

I hope today is a better day for you!

Heidi said...

First - you're not alone! And you're not a sick person, lots of us are consumed by thoughts of food.

Like someone said to you yesterday, it sounds like you need a little more protein or fats. You've been working out pretty hard and your body may need more fuel. Though, this should be in the form of healthy, satisfying foods.

I've never been a middle of the night eater - it's just one of those rules that I refuse to break. I have however had a cup of tea (usually when I can't sleep) and if I'm having hunger pains/cravings this usually satisfies that. So maybe try that next time.

Sugar free - do you consume a fair amount of sugar free stuff? I find when I do that I often crave sugar/sweets even more. There are studies out there that suggests that if you try to fool your body with artificial sweeteners it doesn't recognize them and you will still crave actual sugar. Not sure if this is true or not, but it's made a difference for me.

Anyhow, don't beat yourself over this. Learn from the experience. Sometimes I find myself doing something kinda crazy (like searching through your husband's bags for the chocolate) and it just hits me ... what AM I doing?? If you hadn't found the chocolate what would you have done? Would you have gone to the store to get some? I doubt it. You just need to learn where the brakes are. You're relatively new to this so just give it time and learn when & where you can.

Rita said...

Hi! I just found your blog...I think I've peeked at it before...but I TOTALLY understand the Hershey Kiss thing! This morning I ALMOST got in my car and drove 30 miles for donuts! The craving for sickeningly sugary donuts was SO strong. I've been trying to lose 35 - 40 lbs and so far I've lost and gained the same couple of pounds for months...sigh...got any secrets to share??

Kate said...

Ugh, what a tough situation! I've totally been there before and realize how frustrating it can be. All you can do is move on from it, though, so don't beat yourself up too much.

MackAttack said...

Oh gosh, I've been there. I also have gotten up and eaten in the middle of the night because there was something that I 'wanted'. Heck right now I'm struggling to figure out if I'm hungry or not, and trying to keep myself from eating, but I keep thinking about food available in the kitchen.

Today's a new day. A new start, and as my nutritionist says, it's not about one day it's about the average. She suggests following a high calorie day with low calorie days.

Good Luck!

jo said...

Hi. Thank you for visiting my blog. I am enjoying yours.

I dream about food, and I never did while not on WW.

I also have sleep issues, I know insomnia well.

Sorry about your binge. I don't have any words of advice, just hugs.

Jo

Visionquester said...

Hey.. of course this post attracted me.
So you were in bed thinking about food... all you could do was think about food. I have had many, many episodes where I get fixated on food like that and interestingly enough I use this diversion of sorts to avoid a legitimate problem that I don't have the answer to.

Example: Son brings home 3 D's and an F on his report card. Immediate thought.. I am a horrible mother, if only I was a better mother he would bring home good grades.
Well.. at the time I have a huge problem looming over me that I simply don't have the solutions for so immediately (unconsciously) I start thinking about food and eating food.. mostly "forbidden" food.
What I am doing is creating a secondary problem that I DO have a solution to... diet/exercise. Problem #1 still remains..the report card and my horrible mothering, but that gets put on the backburner for me to deal with problem #2 extra fat to burn off.

It's a pattern and it repeats.
I guess the solution is to pay attention when you get that desire to scarf food, and try to remember what you were just thinking of... face the uncomfortable feelings and identify the real problem and try to come up with real solutions.

Or..... that could be just me.
:)
~C.

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